I have always liked watching Xena: Princess Warrior. It is an action-adventure T.V. show with a female hero that ran in the 1990’s. Xena, the main character, is capable, confident, self-empowered, and independent woman with strong compassion and foibles. Xena was able to confront, fight if necessary, and maintain her compassion. Now, I know this is T.V., but there are a lot of lessons that can be learned from Xena. A primary one being resiliency.
Xena’s character had a questionable past. She consciously changed her life and began anew. Her efforts to begin a new life were not without challenges. She had to train both her mind and body to be able to handle her new life path. Xena had to be very resilient in order to become a great warrior princess.
In my last blog I wrote about some myths about resilience. Today I want to focus on things you can do to activate your own warrior within so you can build and strengthen your own resiliency.
- A warrior responds, she does not react. She is aware of her own emotional reactions and the behavior of those around her. By remaining aware she can identify what she CAN control from what she can’t. Here are 3 questions that Xena asked and answered: Where are you? – HERE. What time is it? – NOW. What are you? – THIS MOMENT. In this way every move is about the move, about the one moment in time. A warrior accepts things for what they are in the moment and focuses on what she can do to make them better. She is in the present, living. She is mindful and allows herself to go slow. A warrior is persistent and resourceful in her efforts to achieve an outcome that is for the good of all. A warrior is active in some type of reflective practice to improve self-awareness. She is conscious of her choices. A warrior does not take for granted that which she can do. She controls herself; she masters herself.
- A warrior maintains perspective. She knows life has its ups and down. She knows success is not solely based on outcome. A warrior knows that a closed door means an open door. She is aware of the fact that the end of something is also the beginning of something new. She persists for that which she loves. A warrior understands life is about choice.
- A warrior learns from her past mistakes. She doesn’t waste her energy or time by blaming others or blaming herself. She does not fall into the trap of “if only I had done this or if only I had this…I’d be happy”. She is responsible for her actions. She stays focused on the facts, willing to learn and grow. A warrior understands she can learn what she needs to and can grow. She is willing to try new things. She is willing to seek advice from those she trusts. A warrior understands the importance of leaving her comfort zone.
- A warrior trusts her intuition. She stays connected to Source. She maintains her faith in Source. She understands what she values. A warrior stays connected to Source and her values even during stressful life events. A warrior understands she is not invincible. She understands being a warrior is not about perfection. It is about absolute vulnerability.
- A warrior honors her feelings. She allows herself to feel her feelings, recognizing they reflect her humanness and her heart. A warrior takes constructive actions that soothe her. Such as going for nature walks, dancing out stress, punching a punching bag, having a good cry, smiling widely in celebration.
- A warrior knows the value of a plan. She develops a personal resiliency plan based on her existing resources. She knows the value of maintaining assertive and active coping strategies. A warrior challenges any limiting beliefs she has to stay adaptable. She knows the value of letting go of attachments. A warrior understands that every action has its price and its pleasure. She understands setbacks will happen and does not live in fear of failure. A warrior has a response strategy.
- A warrior takes care of herself. Even though her life is busy and a lot of people depend on her, she knows she has to take care of herself. A warrior keeps her health with healthy eating practices and daily care of her mind, heart and soul. She finds a few minutes each day to close her eyes and breathe deeply to calm her nervous system. She routinely finds things to laugh about. She regularly practices asking and taking the required time and space to sustain herself without any apologies or guilt. A warrior builds slack into her life.
Let yourself awaken the Warrior Princess within you. Allow resiliency to become your lifestyle. Let it be your way of moving through your daily life. Being able to bounce back from your setbacks is a skill set. Practicing and mastering resilient skills allows women to cope and recover from challenges in an adaptive fashion.
One of Xena’s catch phrases was “Don’t be sorry, just improve.” What are you doing to awaken the Warrior Princess within you?
From one Warrior Princess to another,
Dr. Martha Spano